Following is an excerpt from a post in the blog of Holly Pelz
…I’ve gone almost my whole life feeling like a failure of a Christian. I always understood my spiritual success to be measured by an unspoken set of rules, and if I did ABCD, I’d be considered a good Christian.
I knew everything about how to appear Godly- how to act, how to worship, pray, respond with “God” answers, etc. I wanted to fit in with the Christian community, but somehow never felt good enough. Eventually this false me took over completely and I lived in it fully, deceiving even myself at times.
In this existence, I always experienced a significant amount of spiritual envy. I looked at the people around me, wondering what the secret was, how they could be experiencing God so intimately. And I lived with fear. Fear that people might see right through me.
And now…I’m done. The façade of “everything being great, I’ve got it together, I’m a really spiritual person, etc” is exhausting. For the first time in my life, I believe I’m experiencing freedom in Christ, freedom from guilt and freedom in who I am. …My time with God might be a little unconventional, I might go through phases where I feel like an inconsistent mess, and I WILL make mistakes- but it’s okay. I’m okay. ~~~~ the blog of Holly Pelz
God is real and he expects us to be real. His very essence is to love and to be loved of our own will. We as profession of faith can't truly love if we are fake. The way we live, or the way we react, or when we do/ don't reach out to others we show appreciation/ or lack there of; of truly who God is and has done for us on calvary!!!